Series 1, The Second Time Around

Del: What would you know about it anyway aye, you don't have romantic feelings you, you just have animal urges. Sometimes I think you learnt the art of seduction by watching Wildlife on One.

Series 2, Diamonds Are For Heather

Del: I remembered what you said - that you liked solitaire diamonds, so I thought...well y'know...that I'd get her a cluster of solitaires!

Series 3, Homesick

Del: No, no not goodbye Margaret, no just Bonjour.

Series 3, Thicker Than Water

Del: Don't be fooled by him Rodney, he's had everything from galloping lurgy to Saturday night fever. Do you know once when I was a kid I was doing me homework and I asked him what a cubic foot was. He didn't know but he tried to have a week off work with it.

Series 4, It's Only Rock and Roll

Charlie: Well my mate's cousin works for a record company and he reckons he could get us a contract!

Del: And my mate's cousin's a doorman at Chelsea, but he couldn't get me a bloody game though could he?

Series 5, Tea For Three

Del: I remember her Mum though, she was a fair sort - pig ugly, but a fair sort. I nicknamed her Miss 999 you know 'cos I only phoned her in an emergency!

Series 5, Video Nasty

Del: You see, Abdul's cousin's girlfriend's brother's mate's mate, right, he's a gamekeeper down at one of those private zoo's! And Monkey Harris's sister's husband's first wife's stepfather, right, he works for an animal food company. So put the two together and what you got - a nice little earner."

Series 6, Yuppy Love

Del: When I was 11 years old, Rodney, Dad got me two - count 'em - two paper rounds. Every morning come rain, sleet or shine, there was Del Boy. 35 Daily Sketches, 40 Heralds and a spick 'n' span for the weirdo in Marley Road!

Series 6, Yuppy Love

Barman: Can I get you anything, Sir?

Del: I'll have a bottle of Beaujolais Nouveau.

Barman: Yes, Sir.

Del: A '79.

Series 6, Yuppy Love

Del: I was working in the Tower of London at the time. I was doing the old happy snaps, you know? Second-hand Brownie, no film, pound a go - Lovely Jubbly!

Series 6, Chain Gang

Trigger: Alright, Del Boy?

Del: Wothcher, Trig.

Trigger: No Dave?

Del: Yeah, he's coming down later. He's bringing that bird of his - what's her name ... Cassandra.

Trigger: He's going a bit serious, ain't he?

Del: No, birds always blow him out after a couple of weeks! That boy's been blown out more times than a windsock!

Series 6, Sickness and Wealth

Doctor: I'd like to examine you. Please strip to the waist and lie on the couch. Do you smoke Mr Trotter?

Del: Not just now, thank you, Doctor

Christmas 1989, The Jolly Boys' Outing

Pamela: Derek?

Del: Mm ... brandy, please, Pamela.

Pamela: Armagnac?

Del: Yeah, that'll do if you're out of brandy.

Christmas 1990, Rodney Come Home

Mickey: Listen to me Rodney. I always make a point of making women jealous.

Del: The only time you ever made women jealous was the night you won the last house at bingo.

Christmas 1991, Miami Twice

Del: They were tryin' to kill me! Fromage frais!

Christmas 2002, Strangers on the Shore

Del: One of my most favouritist meals is Duck à l'Orange, but I don't know how to say that in French.

Rodney: It's canard.

Del: You can say that again bruv!