The following scene was immediatley before the scene where the three are on
their way to the cottage during the rainstorm and are stopped in the van by the Policeman.
The scene was cut due to the episode over-running. Michael Bilton played the Yokel.
Scene 2A. Film. EXT. Day. A Country Pub/Village Green.
This is one of those idyllic scenes straight off a postcard.
Outside the old pub we have a couple of tables and chairs, the van is parked close by.
At one of the tables we have an old rustic type puffing on a pipe.
At the other table sit Del and Grandad, Del is still wearing his camel-hair coat etc.
(Lighting a cigar) This is what it's all about annit, Grandad eh? This is yer real
It's lovely annit, and so clean an' all
And I'll tell you what shall I? Because the people out here have respect for their
environment! (He throws his empty cigar packet away) Men went away in the war and fought and
died for this!
I know - I almost did!
You almost died?
No. I almost went away and fought for it!
Oh yeah!!...I love this life! This is what nature intended. Freshly baked bread, beer from
the wood and honest food straight from God's good earth!
Rodney exits from the pub carrying a tray of drinks (pints)
(To Del) They've never heard of pina colada and they don't do pizzas!
Don't do pizzas? Stone me - what sort of a dead and alive hole is this?
(Thinking this may offend the Yokel) Sshh!!... (To the Yokel) Morning.
(Staring into distance) Af'rnoon!
(Checks his watch, taps it) This deep sea divers watch still ain't working right!
Leave off Rodney. (Indicates to Yokel) He's tryna tell the time by the sun!
But you can tell the time by the sun!
But it's hardly bloody TIM is it!!
He's right an all! (To Yokel) Loverly weather for a bit of sheep shearing eh?
Oh arr, fine weather! Soon be turning though!
You mark my words sir, before the nights out there'll be a storm likes of which you've
never seen before! There'll be thunder that'll wake the dead from their sleep. Rain and flooding
and a wind a howling so fierce you'd think it came from the mouth of satan himself!!
Del and Rodney look at each other and react
Still it'll be good for the flowers won't it!
Del gives him a damning look.
How do you country people know these things? Is it because the cows are all laying
down, or can you tell by the clouds?
(Turns to face Rodney, we see he has an ear-piece which is connected to a radio) No,
I just heard the forecast on Radio 4!
Come on, drink up!